Yeh, this has been a question that has been hard for me to answer. Then it got easier to answer and life has been so dang busy that I'm just now answering it. So here goes...
Just before Christmas, we were inquiring about why we hadn't received a court date (this is your appointment with the Ethiopian courts which executes an adoption on the Ethiopian side of things). It was taking longer than usual, so we began to ask questions. The answer came back that the birth father was reconsidering his decision to have the boys adopted. Which, of course, was very unsettling. The worst part is the wait to find out information. We are so used to having information at the touch of a button, that it makes communication with Ethiopia feel like courier pigeon. The result was ultimately that the boys got to go home. Not with us, as we thought, but with their father. I remember when we first knew what the birth father was considering, Mark had the clearest perspective. He said, "If he wants his boys, than that is exactly where they should be." And he began praying from a father's heart for another father half way across the world. He prayed that the Lord would provide for this man so that he would be able to bring his boys home and care for them. That is exactly what the Lord did. To quote my boys, "Now there are two less orphans in the world!" I will be completely honest to say that it took me longer to come around to this perspective, for multiple reasons. Some out of concern for the boys, most rooted in my own selfishness. Funny how people often comment at how "selfless" we are to be adopting. Reality is, I am as selfish as I've ever been. My frustration with this process exposes that over and over. Truth is, I want adoption to be more like a TLC baby shower with ribbons and bows and cute outfits and soft pastels and cake and background music... but adoption exists because orphans exist. Although adoption IS a beautiful thing in so many ways, it is born out of tragedy and heartache. Two sweet little boys, whose faces are forever etched in my heart, lost their mother to malaria and then their father, home and family for 9 months. Ain't nothin pretty about that. I have a picture in my head of the happy reunion and them leaving the orphanage with their father holding each by the hand. I have no idea if any of that is how it went down. I like that picture though. Ribbons and bows, anyone?
The one thing I DO know, is God is sovereign in all these things. He is also GOOD, oh so good. His plan for all this is good. After all, he is in the "beauty for ashes" business. If He can take the shame and scandal of the cross and buy my freedom from slavery and bondage to my sin... then I know he is able to make all things good and for His glory out of all of this.
